the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
