"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
