i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
