"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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