he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
this just has baby written all over it
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
