no. you can't hotbox the world.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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