Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
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Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
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she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.