in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.