I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"