i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
MIDGETS
????
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
