There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
