dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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