Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize