love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
