he shaved USA in his pubs
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
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She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I love you. Go after that dick
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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