Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
