I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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