my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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