she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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