How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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