break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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