I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
