i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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