I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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