i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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