I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
