so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
