Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
