I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
