If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
