My friends, they love my intelligence
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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