I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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