super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
