So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
