I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
