She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
