So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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