why didn't you poke me back
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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