Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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