My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
