I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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