It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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