At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
