and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
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Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
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Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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