Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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