She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
