you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
