home. puking in laundry basket.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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