dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize