in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
sarcasm needs its own font
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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