Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he fucked my hip out of place.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
