Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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