Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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