I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
