Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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