HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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