After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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