...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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