i just had sex bonerless
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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