her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
