Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
